Survival Guide

The internet is chock-full of chance: the chance to be a rock star, the chance to be a supermodel, the chance to be a movie star, you name it and chances are you’ll probably make it. There’s also great chance for you to make a complete fool of yourself if don’t have a strategic plan in place. But, let’s face it. A large percentage of people on the internet who we believe to be desire-to-be’s are really just wannabe’s. They want the be seen and they want to be heard, and for no other reason than that. They’re social media junkies. And that’s fine if that’s honestly how people want to roll. But don’t drown in the sea of social stupidity. Let me give you my top five guild to the proper way of surviving social media.

I. Think before you post.

– Does what I’m about to post profit me any form or ounce of credibility or will it prove that I’m as stupid as what I just posted? Don’t let the submit button make a fool of you.

II. Please properly secure your surroundings.

– Preferably make sure the boudoir that contains the favorite mirror from which you’ll be taking your selfie is in tip-top shape. Nobody wants to see the pair of dirty underwear you wore last night sprawled across your unmade bed. That’s a no-no.

III. Nudity

– If you haven’t taken Fergie’s advice and have been up in the gym working on your fitness, then don’t it. You may get the likes but you will be talked about.

IV. Video Content

– Friends don’t let friends record themselves on the toilet, talking on the phone, or punish the world by inventing musical talents they know don’t exist. Consider me a friend.

V. The Virus

– Whatever you do, don’t get caught doing it for the Vine. Because once you go viral, there’s no going back. You could wind up on Ellen’s couch or TMZ. There’s a fine line between new-found celebrity and total douchebag. Never let the virus choose for you.

I hope this guild finds you well and assists you in your survival.

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Naomi C. Kellogg

Naomi is an emerging screenwriter and novelist who writes fiction, nonfiction, and dramas. She’s written for a national magazine, run a blog, and headed the communications department for a 501c3 corporation. Naomi is actively completing a Master’s Degree in Fine Arts and is a member of the Nation Council of Negro Women (NCNW), St. Petersburg Chapter, where she hopes to inspire young African-American women who aspire to write.

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